Well, not really an ode. More like a letter. Except not really.
Oh Smucker’s Uncrustable, just look at you. You are yummy, gooey, sweet, soft, fatty, unhealthy, chemical-ridden, and your expiration date is probably 4010. Normally I would never eat anything like you. Most of the food I eat doesn’t come in a wrapper, and almost never has more than 5 ingredients. You, on the other hand…why do I like you so much? I hate sweets. You have more ingredients than I can count. Things that I know I should never, ever eat. Things that make me feel so so panicy once they’re inside my body. But you are something else. My guilty pleasure as a child, you have re-emerged in my life tempting me at Costco with your tiny circular shape and all the wonders that await inside. So, my dear Smucker’s Uncrustable, I have only one thing to say to you as you attempt to destroy my health-concious ways: NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM. That is all.
P.S I forgive you for stabbing me in the eye while I was trying to take this picture.
P.P.S This is what I’m doing instead of my Summer assignment.